Loneliness Isn’t About Being Alone, It’s About Not Being Truly Seen: Somy Ali Opens Up On Human Connection In A Hyper-Connected World
Loneliness Isn’t About Being Alone, It’s About Not Being Truly Seen: Somy Ali Opens Up On Human Connection In A Hyper-Connected World
Mumbai: As conversations around mental health and emotional well-being continue to gain urgency, former actress and humanitarian Somy Ali is drawing attention to a growing crisis that often goes unnoticed—loneliness. Reacting to a recent survey that ranked India among the loneliest countries in the world, Somy reflected on how genuine human connection has become increasingly rare despite living in an age of constant communication.
“For a lot of people, it’s been a long time since someone genuinely asked, ‘How are you?’ and waited for the real answer,”Somy says. “We’ve trained ourselves to say ‘I’m fine’ so quickly that even when someone asks, we rarely tell the truth. In my work, I’ve sat with women and children who haven’t been truly heard in years. Sometimes just one person asking with real care—and then staying quiet long enough to listen—can make someone feel seen for the first time in a very long time.”Having spent years working with survivors of abuse through her NGO, No More Tears, Somy believes loneliness is less about the number of relationships people have and more about the absence of meaningful conversations. “You can be surrounded by family, colleagues, or even thousands of followers and still feel completely invisible,” she explains. “Loneliness isn’t always about being alone. It’s about not having even one person you can be completely honest with without fearing judgment or feeling like a burden.”The activist also shared her thoughts on social media and whether it has genuinely brought people closer together.”Social media has made us more visible to each other, but not necessarily more connected,” she says. “We see the highlights, the achievements, the carefully curated moments. What we rarely see are the breakdowns, the fear, or the nights someone spends crying alone. Real connection requires patience, presence, and the willingness to sit with someone else’s pain without trying to immediately fix it.”
According to Somy, finding authentic relationships has become more difficult than ever.
“Finding people is easy. Finding your people is hard,” she says. “It’s rare to find even one person with whom you can be completely yourself—without performance, without fear of being too much or not enough. After everything some of the survivors I work with have endured, that kind of emotional safety is incredibly difficult to find.”
She also points out that having hundreds of contacts or followers does not guarantee emotional support when it is needed most.
“I’ve seen people with full phones and thousands of followers who still have no one to call when they’re falling apart,”Somy notes. “Quantity doesn’t replace depth. When life gets truly difficult, many of those numbers go silent.” The actress-turned-humanitarian believes that the rise of instant communication has also contributed to the decline of deeper conversations.
“We’ve become comfortable with quick check-ins and surface-level exchanges,” she says. “But healing and genuine connection require slow, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Many people no longer know how to sit with pain—either their own or someone else’s.”When asked about one message she wishes someone would send her today, Somy’s answer was strikingly simple.”I wish someone would just say, ‘I’m here. You don’t have to explain anything. I’m not going anywhere.’ That’s it. No advice. No fixing. Just presence,” she says. “Sometimes that single sentence can keep someone from falling apart completely. I’ve witnessed that many times in my own life and through the work we do at No More Tears.”
Loneliness Isn’t About Being Alone, It’s About Not Being Truly Seen: Somy Ali Opens Up On Human Connection In A Hyper-Connected World
Mumbai: As conversations around mental health and emotional well-being continue to gain urgency, former actress and humanitarian Somy Ali is drawing attention to a growing crisis that often goes unnoticed—loneliness. Reacting to a recent survey that ranked India among the loneliest countries in the world, Somy reflected on how genuine human connection has become increasingly rare despite living in an age of constant communication.
"For a lot of people, it's been a long time since someone genuinely asked, 'How are you?' and waited for the real answer,"Somy says. "We've trained ourselves to say 'I'm fine' so quickly that even when someone asks, we rarely tell the truth. In my work, I've sat with women and children who haven't been truly heard in years. Sometimes just one person asking with real care—and then staying quiet long enough to listen—can make someone feel seen for the first time in a very long time."Having spent years working with survivors of abuse through her NGO, No More Tears, Somy believes loneliness is less about the number of relationships people have and more about the absence of meaningful conversations. "You can be surrounded by family, colleagues, or even thousands of followers and still feel completely invisible," she explains. "Loneliness isn't always about being alone. It's about not having even one person you can be completely honest with without fearing judgment or feeling like a burden."The activist also shared her thoughts on social media and whether it has genuinely brought people closer together."Social media has made us more visible to each other, but not necessarily more connected," she says. "We see the highlights, the achievements, the carefully curated moments. What we rarely see are the breakdowns, the fear, or the nights someone spends crying alone. Real connection requires patience, presence, and the willingness to sit with someone else's pain without trying to immediately fix it."
According to Somy, finding authentic relationships has become more difficult than ever.
"Finding people is easy. Finding your people is hard," she says. "It's rare to find even one person with whom you can be completely yourself—without performance, without fear of being too much or not enough. After everything some of the survivors I work with have endured, that kind of emotional safety is incredibly difficult to find."
She also points out that having hundreds of contacts or followers does not guarantee emotional support when it is needed most.
"I've seen people with full phones and thousands of followers who still have no one to call when they're falling apart,"Somy notes. "Quantity doesn't replace depth. When life gets truly difficult, many of those numbers go silent." The actress-turned-humanitarian believes that the rise of instant communication has also contributed to the decline of deeper conversations.
"We've become comfortable with quick check-ins and surface-level exchanges," she says. "But healing and genuine connection require slow, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Many people no longer know how to sit with pain—either their own or someone else's."When asked about one message she wishes someone would send her today, Somy's answer was strikingly simple."I wish someone would just say, 'I'm here. You don't have to explain anything. I'm not going anywhere.' That's it. No advice. No fixing. Just presence," she says. "Sometimes that single sentence can keep someone from falling apart completely. I've witnessed that many times in my own life and through the work we do at No More Tears."
